8 things you probably aren't discussing with your partner before the wedding

Here are eight things you probably aren't discussing with your partner before the big day.


Getting ready to tie the knot? Congratulations! But before you say "I do," there are a few important discussions you should be having with your partner. Sure, you've talked about where to go on your honeymoon and who's responsible for taking out the trash, but have you considered the nitty-gritty details that a prenuptial agreement can cover? As famed intimacy expert Esther Perel says: “Money is never just about money—financial plans are also emotional plans.” 

Here are eight things you probably aren't discussing with your partner before the big day:

  1. Financial Expectations: Money might not be the most romantic topic, but it's crucial to discuss your financial expectations with your partner. Are you both on the same page about saving, spending, and investing? How you’ll share or separatae expenses? A prenup can help clarify each person's financial responsibilities and expectations during the marriage and in the event of a divorce.
  2. Debt: It's essential to be transparent about any debts you're bringing into the marriage. Whether it's student loans, credit card debt, or a mortgage, understanding each other's financial obligations can prevent surprises down the road. A prenup can outline how debts will be divided in the event of a divorce, protecting both parties from unfair financial burdens. 
  3. Business Ownership: Do either of you own a business, have shares in a business or plan to start one? If so, it's crucial to discuss how your business assets will be handled in the event of a divorce. A prenup can provide clarity on ownership rights, valuation, and distribution of business assets, protecting your hard work and investment.
  4. Inheritance and Family Assets: If you or your partner expect to receive inheritance or have significant family assets, it's essential to discuss how these assets will be treated in the event of a divorce. A prenup can outline whether inheritance and family assets will remain separate property or be subject to division in a divorce, providing peace of mind for both parties and their families.
  5. Spousal Support: While no one likes to think about the possibility of divorce, it's essential to discuss whether you want to address spousal support obligations upfront. A prenup can establish clear guidelines for spousal support, including whether it will be paid, how much, and for how long, helping to avoid contentious disputes in the event of a divorce.
  6. Pets: Our furry friends are often considered part of the family, but who gets custody of Fido in the event of a breakup? Discussing pet custody and care arrangements upfront can prevent emotional conflicts down the road. A prenup can outline custody and visitation rights for pets, ensuring their well-being is prioritized during a divorce.
  7. Relocation: If one or both partners have to relocate for work or other reasons, it's crucial to discuss how this will impact your marriage and potential divorce proceedings. A prenup can address relocation issues, such as whether the law of the state in which it was executed (e.g. California law if you got married in California) will continue to apply if you move out of state.
  8. Digital Assets: In today's digital age, ownership of digital assets – think cryptocurrency and NFTs – is more important than ever. Discussing your portfolio of digital assets in the context of developing a prenup can prevent conflicts and misunderstandings in your marriage. A prenup can establish guidelines for digital asset ownership, protecting both parties' interests in the digital realm. We discuss this topic in more detail on our First blog post, “Prenups and Digital Assets.”

While discussing these topics might not be the most glamorous part of wedding planning, addressing them upfront can strengthen your relationship and set you up for a more secure future together. Relationship experts agree that discussing a prenup specifically can actually strengthen your bond as a couple. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist and marriage expert, emphasizes the importance of addressing key issues like finances early on in a relationship in his article “M is for Money”. He suggests that having conversations about each other’s values and goals can foster trust and understanding between partners, ultimately laying the foundation for a strong and resilient marriage.

And remember, a prenuptial agreement isn't just for celebrities and billionaires—it's a valuable tool for any couple looking to protect their assets and clarify their rights and responsibilities. So before you walk down the aisle, consider having an open and honest conversation with your partner about the importance of a prenup. After all, it's better to be safe than sorry when it comes to matters of the heart and finances.

Ready to start the conversation? Check out First (www.thisfirst.com) for customizable digital prenuptial agreements tailored to the state of California. Because when it comes to protecting your future, it's always best to put your relationship First.