What If My Partner Doesn't Want to Get a Prenup?

Before diving into the nitty-gritty of prenups, it's crucial to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your concerns and motivations.


Bringing up the topic of a prenup with your partner may have them singing along with Tina Turner’s “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” While prenups might not be the most romantic topic, they're increasingly relevant for millennials entering into marriage. But what if your partner isn't keen on the idea? Don't panic just yet! After you’ve reviewed the steps outlined in How To Bring Up Prenups With Your Partner, here are some additional strategies for how to have an open and honest conversation that ends with two happy signatures on your prenup.

Start with Open Communication:

Before diving into the nitty-gritty of prenups, it's crucial to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your concerns and motivations. Approach the topic with empathy and understanding, and be prepared to listen to their perspective without judgment.

Educate Yourself (and Your Partner):

Prenups can be a sensitive subject, often clouded by misconceptions and myths. Take the time to educate yourself about what prenuptial agreements entail, how they work, and why they might be beneficial for both parties. Share this information with your partner in a non-confrontational manner, emphasizing that prenups aren't about distrust, but rather about planning for the future.

Focus on Shared Goals:

When discussing prenups, it's essential to frame the conversation in terms of shared goals and values. Emphasize that a prenup isn't just about protecting individual assets, but also about fostering transparency, fairness, and security within the relationship. Highlight how a prenup can provide clarity and peace of mind for both parties, especially in the event of unforeseen circumstances.

Seek Professional Guidance:

If you're facing resistance from your partner, consider seeking professional guidance from a mediator, financial planner, or legal expert specializing in family law. A neutral third party can help facilitate constructive discussions, clarify misconceptions, and explore creative solutions that address both partners' concerns.

Compromise and Flexibility:

Remember that marriage is a partnership built on compromise and mutual respect. Be open to finding middle ground and exploring alternative solutions that address your partner's hesitations while still providing the level of protection and security you desire. Perhaps there are specific provisions or safeguards you can incorporate into the prenup to alleviate your partner's concerns.

Give It Time:

Lastly, remember that discussions about prenups can take time and patience. Avoid pressuring your partner or issuing ultimatums, as this can strain the relationship and undermine trust. Instead, focus on building understanding and trust over time, allowing your partner the space to process their feelings and concerns at their own pace.

Emphasize the Ease of the Process:

While the traditional prenup process is time-consuming and expensive for both partners, that is no longer the case with First. We work with couples to help them align on the most important decisions and quickly create a custom, cost-effective digital prenup that can be as effective as a lawyer-drafted one. No phone calls needed.

Ultimately, the goal is not just to sign a piece of paper, but to lay the foundation for a strong, resilient partnership built on trust, transparency, and shared values. So, take a deep breath, approach the conversation with empathy and understanding, and remember that love conquers all – even prenup talks.