How doing a prenup can actually be romantic

In a world where relationships are often idealized, a prenup represents a refreshingly honest and practical expression of love.


Finding Romance in the Practicality of Prenups

When you think of romance, prenuptial agreements might not be the first thing that springs to mind. In fact, they might seem like the antithesis of love and trust. But, what if we told you that prenups could be one of the most romantic gestures between partners? Let’s explore how this legal document can be a profound expression of love and commitment.

Laying the Foundation for Open Communication

Alain de Boton writes in On Love, “To be loved by someone is to realize how much they share the same needs that lie at the heart of our own attraction to them.” At its core, a prenup encourages honesty and open dialogue. Crafting this agreement together requires couples to have deep, meaningful conversations about their values, finances, and future goals. It's an opportunity to understand each other on a level that goes beyond the surface, fostering a stronger connection. This level of transparency and vulnerability is inherently romantic, as it’s built on trust and a desire to navigate life together, come what may.

Protecting Each Other’s Future

A common misconception is that prenups are only about safeguarding assets in case of a divorce. While it’s true they outline financial arrangements if things don’t work out, they also serve to protect both partners. For instance, a prenup can ensure that any debts remain personal, safeguard family heirlooms, or secure a financial future for children from previous relationships. This mutual care and protection are powerful affirmations of love, showing that you’re looking out for each other’s best interests, regardless of what the future holds.

Customizing Your Commitment

Every relationship is unique, and a prenup allows couples to customize their commitment based on their individual circumstances, beliefs, and goals. It can include clauses that reflect personal values, such as agreements on managing household finances. These personalized commitments highlight that you’re not just entering a marriage by default settings but are thoughtfully designing a life together that honors what’s truly important to both of you.

Easing Financial Tensions

Money issues are one of the leading causes of stress in relationships. By addressing financial matters upfront, prenups can actually remove a significant source of tension. Knowing that there’s a plan in place can make it easier to enjoy the day-to-day aspects of your relationship without the looming worry of “what if?” This peace of mind can free up emotional energy to focus on nurturing your bond, making everyday interactions more relaxed and joyful.

Embracing Realism in Your Fairy Tale

True love is not just about grand gestures and fairy-tale moments; it’s also about standing by each other through the mundane and the challenging. A prenup acknowledges that life is unpredictable, but instead of fearing the unknown, you’re facing it together, prepared and united. This pragmatic approach to your fairy tale underscores a commitment that is both grounded and hopeful, an affirmation that you’re in it for the long haul.


So, can prenups be romantic? Absolutely. In a world where relationships are often idealized, a prenup represents a refreshingly honest and practical expression of love. It’s about going beyond the emotional highs and acknowledging the full spectrum of sharing a life together. Far from being a sign of mistrust or pessimism, a prenup can be a deeply romantic gesture, signifying that you value your partner enough to ensure their protection and happiness, no matter what the future brings. In this light, drafting a prenup together isn’t just practical; it’s one of the most profound ways to show love and commitment.


de Botton, Alain. On Love. Grove Press/Atlantic Monthly Press, 2006