TL;DR: Liz Federowicz, Esq., and her non-lawyer partner did their own prenup with First, and it became one of the most clarifying money conversations of their engagement. They completed it online, on their own schedule, without booking a lawyer for every question. Each partner reviewed the agreement with their own independent counsel, so both understood what they were signing. The agreement was drafted to their state's specific requirements, and it cost less than the traditional route.I'm a lawyer. He's not. That gap sat in the back of my mind through this whole process. I wanted us to go in as equals, not as one partner who understood the fine print and one who was just trusting me. Here's what actually made that possible, and made the whole process better than I expected.
Bringing up a prenup without blindsiding your partner "Hey darling, wanna do a prenup?" might feel like an even harder question to pop than the one that got us here. But once asked, the way First let both of us co-create the prenup made the whole thing far more approachable than what normally happens: one partner sending the other a prenup out of nowhere, sparking disbelief, distrust, and shaking the relationship's foundation at its most critical time.
We each made our financial disclosures, decided how to treat our property in the questionnaire, compared answers, and had some serious discussions to make sure we were aligned on what would go into the agreement. These discussions turned out to be the most important thing we did to prepare for getting married. Had we not gone through the First process, a lot of this might have gone unsaid: how we really wanted to treat our finances going forward, and what mattered most to each of us. The good news: we discovered we were, in fact, incredibly aligned (except maybe about the dog, so we deferred that decision), and that we wanted something quite different from what we'd get by default under state law.
Doing it online, on our own schedule You can complete a prenup with First online, on your own schedule. We're night owls with demanding day jobs, so when did we actually do ours? At home, on the couch, at 11 p.m., because that's the time we had. It was a relief not to schedule time with a lawyer to talk through every little thing, or to be billed for a half hour when I asked a two minute question. I could ask my questions at midnight and get answers when it worked for the other side, instead of playing calendar Tetris to find a time that worked for everyone.
Making sure it held up under our state's prenup law A prenup has to follow the rules of the state where you sign it. Our state has plenty of nuances in its prenup law, and First handled that with ease. The agreement is drafted to your state's requirements, so we could contract freely about our future with confidence.
What it cost compared with the traditional route It was also less expensive than the traditional route . That mattered to us, and it probably matters to most couples weighing whether to do a prenup at all.
Why we each had our own independent lawyer One thing mattered more than any other: both of us could have our own lawyer. To make sure we were on equal footing, we could each review the prenup with our own independent counsel and get our questions answered without relying on the other person's understanding. Afterward, he felt like he knew what he was signing. So did I.
Would I recommend doing your own prenup? I would. If you're engaged and the word "prenup" has been sitting unspoken between you and your partner, I get it. I've been on both sides of that conversation, as a lawyer and as someone about to get married. The prenup mattered. How we got there mattered more. First turned a conversation I was dreading into one of the most clarifying conversations we've had as a couple.
If that's a conversation you and your partner need to have, First might be worth a look.
Frequently asked questions Can you do your own prenup online? Yes. With First, couples complete the prenup themselves, online. You each make your financial disclosures, decide how to treat your property, and the agreement is drafted to your state's law.
Can both partners have their own lawyer? Each partner can review the agreement with their own independent counsel before signing, so both understand what they are agreeing to.
Does a prenup have to follow your state's law? Prenup requirements vary by state. First builds the agreement around your state's specific rules.
How long does it take to do a prenup with First? You can complete it on your own schedule, from home, without booking a separate meeting for every question.
Disclosure: Liz is employed by one of First's investors and I work with the First team. They paid for our prenup in full, and were not compensated or incentivized to write this post.
