What to know:
- A prenup is only enforceable when both partners have shared full and fair financial information beforehand; disclosure is a legal requirement, not an extra step.
- A 2022 Harris Poll found 15% of married or engaged adults had signed a prenup, up from 3% in 2010, with support for prenups reaching 50% of U.S. adults by 2023.
- The "unromantic" reputation comes largely from media and celebrity-divorce portrayals, not from what the prenup process involves.
- Because the law requires each partner to lay out assets, debts, and income, the process structures the kind of honest money conversation many couples otherwise avoid.
- First is built so couples can work through full financial disclosure together in plain language, on their own timeline, with attorney-involved options when the situation calls for one.
If you have found yourself hesitating to bring up a prenup because it feels cold, or worrying that your partner will hear the word and think you are planning for failure, you are not alone. The idea has a reputation. For a lot of couples, "prenup" conjures images of distrust, lawyers in expensive suits, and a document that says "I don't believe in us." That feeling is real, and it is worth taking seriously before we reframe it.
Here is the part that tends to surprise people. A prenup is only enforceable if both partners share full and fair financial information with each other first. That is not a First preference or a nice-to-have. Under the Uniform Premarital Agreement Act, an agreement can be thrown out if one partner was not given fair and reasonable disclosure of the other's property and finances. Transparency is baked into the law. Attitudes are shifting to match: a 2022 Harris Poll found 15% of married or engaged U.S. adults had signed a prenup, up from 3% in 2010. If you want the broader picture of where the myth comes from, we cover it in why prenups feel controversial.
Why do prenups feel unromantic?
Most of the dread around prenups did not come from the process itself. It came from how the process is portrayed. Celebrity divorces make headlines precisely because they are contentious and expensive, and the prenup gets framed as the paperwork of people bracing for a breakup. Reality TV and movie plots lean on the same beat: the richer partner slides a document across the table, and the scene is built to feel like an accusation.
That framing sticks because it is dramatic, not because it is accurate. The version of a prenup that makes it onto a screen is a conflict device. The version most couples experience is a quiet set of conversations about what each person owns, owes, and hopes to build. Validating the worry matters here, because dismissing it ("you are overthinking this") rarely helps anyone who is about to raise the subject with someone they love. The feeling is understandable. It is based on a caricature.
Support for the idea has been climbing as the caricature loses ground. The same 2022 Harris Poll found 42% of U.S. adults supported the use of prenups, and by 2023 that figure had reached 50% in polling by Harris Poll for Axios, as we document in our breakdown of how many people are open to a prenup. Attitudes are moving faster than the stereotype.
What does the law require in a prenup?
A prenuptial agreement (commonly shortened to prenup) is a contract two people sign before marriage that sets out how certain financial matters will be handled if the marriage ends. For a plain-language primer on the concept, Cornell's Legal Information Institute is a reliable reference. What matters for this post is one specific condition courts care about: disclosure.
Under the Uniform Premarital Agreement Act, a premarital agreement can be unenforceable if the challenging party was not provided fair and reasonable disclosure of the other party's property and financial obligations and did not waive that right. In plainer terms, you cannot ask someone to sign an agreement about your finances while hiding what those finances are. If you do, a court may later refuse to enforce it. The Uniform Law Commission, the body that drafts these model laws, has seen the standard adopted widely: the UPAA or its successor act has been adopted by 29 states plus the District of Columbia.
The requirement got more detailed over time. The 2012 Uniform Premarital and Marital Agreements Act expanded disclosure to expressly include income and a good-faith estimate of the value of each party's property and liabilities. So the trend in the law has moved toward more transparency, not less. An agreement that leaves one partner guessing is an agreement a court can set aside as unconscionable, meaning so one-sided or unfair that a judge may decline to enforce it.
This is worth sitting with. The legal system does not treat a prenup as valid merely because two people signed it. It asks whether both people knew what they were agreeing to. That is a transparency test written into the rules.
How does disclosure turn a prenup into a transparency exercise?
Because disclosure is a legal condition, the prenup process structures a conversation that many couples never formally have. To build an enforceable agreement, each partner has to put their financial picture on the table: assets, debts, income, the student loans nobody mentions on a first date, the savings account, the equity in a small business. The law effectively requires the honest money talk that financial advisors have been recommending to engaged couples for decades.
Creating a prenup together can open the lines of communication about money, financial ambitions, and how you each spend or save. Sharing that information is an act of intimacy. You are showing your partner the real shape of your financial life, and they are showing you theirs, before you merge the two. For couples who have avoided the topic, the structure can be a relief. There is a reason to talk, a framework for the conversation, and a document that captures where you landed.
If you want to go deeper on why this step carries so much weight, we wrote a companion piece on why full financial disclosure matters for a prenup. And if the reframe resonates, a prenup can be romantic carries the idea further.
Does a prenup mean your partner doesn't trust you?
This is the fear underneath most of the hesitation, so it deserves a direct answer. A prenup is built on sharing information, not withholding it. The entire process runs on both people being open about what they have and what they owe. Suspicion hides things. Disclosure reveals them. A prenup sits firmly on the second side of that line.
There is a reframe worth holding onto here. Asking for a prenup is a request to be transparent with each other, and to agree on the rules together while you are calm and on the same team, rather than leaving those decisions to a default state law you never read. We dig into the related worry, whether raising the subject signals a lack of commitment, in is asking for a prenup a lack of commitment.
The table below lays out the common worries against what the disclosure-driven process involves.
| The worry | What the process involves |
|---|---|
| "It means we don't trust each other" | Both partners share full financial information, so the process runs on openness. |
| "It's cold and transactional" | It structures a conversation about money, goals, and expectations many couples never formally have. |
| "It only protects the wealthier partner" | An agreement signed without full disclosure can be challenged, which protects both sides. |
| "It's planning for divorce" | It is a planning tool that clarifies finances for the marriage, not only a worst-case scenario. |
That third row matters more than people expect. The disclosure rule protects the partner with fewer assets, too. Because an agreement signed without full and fair disclosure can be challenged, the rule discourages anyone from hiding assets or pressuring a partner into signing blind. Both people enter the agreement knowing the full financial picture, which is the opposite of the lopsided deal the stereotype imagines.
What does the conversation look like in practice?
In practice, the disclosure step is calmer than the dread suggests. Each partner pulls together a picture of what they own and owe: bank and investment accounts, real estate, retirement savings, business interests, credit card balances, student loans, car loans. Income goes on the list too, especially under the newer standard. You are each assembling a reasonably accurate account, with good-faith estimates of value where exact numbers are hard to pin down.
Then you compare notes. Sometimes that surfaces a surprise, a debt one partner had not mentioned, or a savings habit the other did not know about. Better to find it now, across the kitchen table, than during a stressful moment years later. This is also where couples talk about goals: who wants to keep a business separate, how you will handle a future home, what happens to an inheritance. None of this requires a dramatic confrontation. It requires a list, some honesty, and a little time.
When you are ready to start that conversation, our guide on how to bring up a prenup with your partner walks through the words and the timing. The goal is a shared understanding, reached together, with enough runway that nobody feels rushed. A prenup does not guarantee any particular outcome; it is a planning tool that shapes what a court considers and improves the odds the agreement holds up. Done well, the process leaves both partners more financially aligned than they were before.
Frequently Asked Questions
Are prenups unromantic?
Not inherently. The reputation comes largely from media and celebrity-divorce coverage. In practice, a prenup requires both partners to share full financial information, which structures an honest conversation about money, goals, and expectations before marriage rather than avoiding it. Many couples find the process brings them closer.
Does asking for a prenup mean you don't trust your partner?
No. A prenup requires openness about assets, debts, and income from both people, so the process is built on sharing information, not withholding it. Many couples report feeling closer and more financially aligned after working through it together, because they have talked openly about money.
Is financial disclosure required for a prenup?
Yes. Under the Uniform Premarital Agreement Act, an agreement can be unenforceable if a partner was not given full and fair disclosure of the other's property and finances and did not properly waive that right. Disclosure is central to whether an agreement holds up in court.
Can disclosure protect the partner with fewer assets?
Yes. Because an agreement signed without full and fair disclosure can be challenged, the disclosure rule discourages hiding assets or pressuring a partner into signing blind. Both people enter the agreement knowing the full financial picture, which protects the less-wealthy partner as much as anyone.
How common are prenups now?
Rising, but still a minority. A 2022 Harris Poll found 15% of married or engaged U.S. adults had signed one, up from 3% in 2010, and prenups were especially common among adults under 35. Support has grown too, reaching 50% of U.S. adults by 2023.
Moving from worry to a plan
If the money conversation feels daunting, that is the part a prenup is designed to structure, not avoid. The law already asks both partners to lay their finances out in the open, which gives you permission and a framework to have the talk most couples put off.
First helps couples work through full financial disclosure together in plain language and on their own timeline, with attorney-involved options when the situation calls for one. No hourly rates, no surprises, no back and forth with attorneys before you are ready. When it suits both of you, you can start when the time is right.
Methodology
These figures are drawn from The Harris Poll (2022), covering an online survey of 1,073 U.S. adults aged 18 and older conducted May 20 to 23, 2022, weighted to U.S. population proportions, with the 2023 support figure from The Harris Poll conducted for Axios. The disclosure requirements are drawn from the Uniform Premarital Agreement Act (1983) and the Uniform Premarital and Marital Agreements Act (2012), as published by the Uniform Law Commission.
Sources
- The Harris Poll, Prenups Gain Popularity in 2022: 2022 adoption figure (15%, up from 3% in 2010) and 42% support.
- Uniform Law Commission: Uniform Premarital Agreement Act Section 6 disclosure requirement, UPMAA Section 9 expanded disclosure standard, and the 29-states-plus-D.C. adoption count.
- Cornell Legal Information Institute, Premarital Agreement: plain-language definition of a premarital agreement.
First is not a law firm. The information and tools provided by First on this site are not legal advice and not a substitute for the advice of an attorney.
